How I Met Our Mawile: Season 1
by darkwrath32
Summary: Join Houdini the Alakazam as he tells a story of why a Mawile is his girlfriend. Season 1 of a 9 fanfiction series. And yes, this is a parody of How I Met Your Mother. Rated K Plus for mild violence and slight thematic elements (exactly why Inside Out is rated PG).
1. Marshtomps these days

**Welcome to How I Met Our Mawile, where Houdini the Alakazam tells Peyote the Cacturne why Mawly the Mawile is his girlfriend. This is Season 1 out of 9, so this is the place to start. Also, in this story, Pokémon aren't lead by trainers. Humans do exist, but they are simply NPCs. This Pokémon team is lead by Houdini.**

A large building stood before us. The light of the sun reflected off its fancy, red roof. It was the Pokémon League. "Well, here we are", I said.

I stood upright before the large building, Mawly by my side. "I can't wait to meet the Elite Four Pokémon teams!", she said, lightly resting her head on my shoulder.

Draznia flew towards us. She's a Charizard, and she's very jealous of Mawly and Glaceon, who are much prettier than her. Because of this, she's not really that kind. "The only thing that I'm awaiting here is that stupid Sceptile. I bet you he's already beaten the champion!", she mumbled loudly.

"Relax, will ya?" I replied, "That silly guy leads a team of only four Pokémon. I bet you he can't make it past Sidney the Absol."

"True," she said, "But that doesn't stop me from wanting to kick his butt!"

Peyote walked over to us. He's a shiny Cacturne, and he recently finished his training. "Houdini, I have a small question for you. Why is a Mawile your girlfriend again?" he asked.

"Oh, so you really want to know? It's a very long story, and it might be 9 fanfictions long. You sure about it?" I replied.

Peyote bravely stared at me. "Yes," he said, eagerly.

"Ok then. Here goes..."

It all started when I was just a wee Abra. I was raised in Granite Cave, and did my best to avoid any conversation with other Pokémon, unless it was my parents. I was always scared that some crazy Pokémon would throw a great ball at me. This has happened a few times, but I managed to escape each and every one of them. That is, until the day a Marshtomp walked into the cave.

He attacked and caught a Zubat and a Makuhita. I watched in horror as he even got his hands on a Geodude. I hid behind a small pebble, which was a bad idea because I was much larger than it. The Marshtomp spotted me and threw a great ball at me. Before I could teleport away, the ball hit me right in the face! I felt my whole body being sucked into the ball, and I was trapped inside faster than you can say "cheese banana".

I wobbled and wiggled as hard as I could to escape, but it was no use. I was caught, and there was nothing I could do about it.

I never saw my parents again.

 **That's the end of our first episode. This whole fanfiction will be 30 chapters, eachcounting as one episode. The chapters will be somewhat short, but that's just because I have too much time on my hands. Also, with a grand total of 9 fanfictions (270 chapters), I won't have enough creativity. I'm only 13!**


	2. A new friend

**You may have noticed that my story's title has capital letters on every word. That's just because when you search "How I met your mother" on Google, Wikipedia will say "How I Met Your Mother". It doesn't really matter, though.**

Darkness.

I was confined in a small sphere, which was very dark. It smelled a little bit like ketchup in there. After hours of waiting (and sniffing the walls), the ball opened. I was sent out, blinded by the light, and feeling myself grow bigger.

I looked around. I was in a square room filled with all kinds of Pokémon. I saw the Zubat, Makuhita, and Geodude from before. They were talking angrily about what just happened. There was also a Nincada sitting in the corner. It looked very sad, and I felt bad for it. Without hesitation, I hovered towards it.

"Um, hi," I said to it.

The Nincada looked up at me. It was on the verge of tears, and there was a little bruise on its chin. "Are you... talking to me?" it whimpered.

"Yeah. Why else would you see an Abra floating in front of you, making noises out of its mouth?"

"If I were hallucinating, of course! No one ever talks to me, except for that no good, rotten, dirt eating, ugly looking Marshtomp. And he only says two words: Train up!"

The Nincada began to cry. I haven't seen a Pokémon this sad ever since I was about level 8. And that was when my mom cried over stress.

"You know, maybe we can be friends. You would be much happier that way," I told it. "By the way, did you notice that the inside of a Pokeball smells like Ketchup?"

"No. I don't have a good sense of smell," it said. "Anyway, my name's Quassi. What's yours."

"I'm Houdini Abrooni. My first name is the last name of a famous magician!" I replied.

"You were named after a magician? That's so cool!"

And that's how I became friends with a Nincada, but it's not how I met our Mawile. I'll get to that in a bit...

 **Sorry that this chapter's shorter than the first. I mean, 270 chapters over 9 fanfictions is a lot, ok? There will be a running gag and the end of most chapters like this one. For example:**

 **"And that's how I saved the universe from a giant robot, but that's not how I met our Mawile."**

 **"And that's how I learned about tacos, but that's now how I met our Mawile."**

 _ **" And that's why this sentence is also Italic, but that's now how I met our Mawile."**_

 **Or something like that...**


	3. It's not the end

**Pokéballs don't really smell like ketchup on the inside. It's just a little joke based off of the fact that the inside of a trap in Skylanders smells like mustard. What if there's a mayonnaise joke later on?**

Quassi and I became good friends. Quassi sniffed my Pokéball and agreed that it smells a bit like ketchup. Hers smelled more like bananas. Somewhere out there, a minion is waiting.

I met a few other Pokémon too, including a Zigzagoon, who calls himself "Triple animal". What a weirdo.

I also saw a Mawile, whose name was Mawly. She was pretty, but I didn't crush on her. That's how I met our Mawile.

"Hey! I thought I asked why Mawile is your girlfriend!" yelled Peyote.

"Yeah," added Marriland (yes, I have a Pokémon named after a Youtuber) "This story's supposed to be long, but it only took 3 chapters! The author didn't even-"

"WILL YOU STOP BREAKING THE FOURTH WALL, GUYS?! IT'S GETTING VERY OLD," bellowed Draznia. She was really mad, with smoking coming out of her nostrils. "I WILL USE DRAGON PULSE ON YOU IF YOU DON'T STOP."

"You can't! I'm a fairy type!" laughed Marriland.

"Okay, if you want the really long story, then I'll tell you how I _met_ our Mawile." I told everyone. Marriland and Draznia calmed down. "But remember: It's 9 fanfi-"

"JUST TELL THE STORY!" Draznia screamed.

The Marshtomp that caught me had me battle against a bunch of random Pokémon, mainly Zigzagoon. There was just one problem: I didn't know any moves other than teleport. Marshtomp had a strategy for this. Whenever I was in battle, I would suddenly switch out for something else, like another Zigzagoon. Apparently, I somehow gain experience, anyway. It was a boring life, though. We would do this for 8 hours every day.

On a daily basis, I wake up, eat breakfast, train, eat lunch, train, and then I get a two hour break before dinner. I don't think these are harsh living conditions; at least we get a break. I spend most of the two hours playing video games and talking to fellow Pokémon. We also play outdoor games, like Steal the Antidote or Shadow Tag. However, time flies when we have fun, so two hours felt like 30 minutes. Sad.

So that's what I do every day, but that's not how I met our Mawile. I'll explain that later...

 **Kind of a rushed end there, but at least there was more wreckage of the fourth wall! Not much else to say, so I'll just tell you this fanfiction had a visitor from Jamaica.**


	4. Attract Attack!

**Sorry I'm late! I was playing Minecraft. Here's chapter 4!**

Triple Animal ran and ran. He aimed and used a powerful headbutt on the antidote, launching it into the goal. Everyone except for Quassi cheered.

We were playing Steal the Antidote. As I watched, I noticed that Triple Animal was very good at sports. Every time he was called onto the field, he would always score a point.

Quassi, however, was the opposite. Every time she failed to score a goal or protect hers, she would feel really bad. She never seemed to get used to losing all the time.

It was 5 o'clock on a sunny Thursday. We just started a new game of Steal the Antidote. Quassi and Triple Animal were both on my team, so I had no idea if we'd win or lose easily. In Steal the Antidote, you are numbered. When Eldritch the Poochyena calls out your number, you are sent out. I was number 2, Quassi was number 5, and Triple Animal had number 6.

After a little bit of waiting, Eldritch began the game. "NUMBER 3!" he roared.

A Geodude on my team faced off against an opposing Beautifly. Not a fair match, if I say so myself. As the Geodude aimed his punch on the antidote, the Beautifly flew over to her goal, blocking it. The Geodude threw a huge Falcon Punch at the antidote, sending it flying. The antidote flew straight at the goal, where the Beautifly was. It hit the Beautifly, knocking her into the goal, the antidote just inches away from it. The Geodude hovered over to the antidote and nudged it into the goal, just to be sure it was in.

"AND EUSTATHIOS GAINS ONE POINT FOR HIS TEAM!" Eldritch announced as Eustathios (the Geodude) went back over to his team. He high fived Triple Animal and Ironhide the Aron, who were probably his best friends.

A few moments later, Eldritch called out the next number: "NUMBER 2!"

I was put up against Mawly. I floated to the antidote and, since I only knew teleport, I grabbed the antidote and teleported to the goal. I was about to throw it in, but I suddenly stopped. I felt a little zing as I turned around. I stared at Mawly and began to feel warm inside. Was I in love? I couldn't move at all. I just watched at Mawly grabbed the antidote out of my hands and threw it into the other goal, scoring a point for her team.

"MAWLY SCORES, PUTTING THE GAME AT 1-1!" Eldritch screamed. Mawly's team cheered as she walked toward them. A few Pokémon giggled, including Quassi. I sighed and hovered back to my team, prepared for the teasing.

"Are you crushing on her? Ha!" Quassi laughed as I sat down. I didn't have feelings for Mawly at the time, so why did I feel that way for a second?

Triple Animal rushed over to me. "Just ignore them. Mawly used Attract on you, which makes male Pokémon fall in love with her for a little while. It wears off after she succeeds in something.

I sat there, surrounded by giggling Pokémon. I had no idea what the word ignore meant; I didn't get much language education from my parents, and Marshtomp doesn't own a dictionary. I just wished my team would stop teasing me.

That's when everyone started laughing at me, but that's not how I met our Mawile. I'll get to that part later.

 ** _I just wanna look good for you, good for you! Uh-huh! I just wanna look_ -oh, the chapter's over. Sorry about that...**

 **You can use any Pokémon move in Steal the Antidote, so Quick Attack, Sucker Punch, and Extremespeed would all be very useful.**


	5. Trio of Storms

**I EV trained Houdini recently. If you're not a hardcore Pokémon fan, or if you don't know what EV training is, let's just say it makes your Pokémon stronger.**

I just didn't understand. Did they not know Mawly used Attract on me?

I tried to keep my distance from most of my friends. The only Pokémon I could trust were Triple Animal, Mawly, and Marshtomp. Triple Animal knows that Mawly used Attract, Mawly is kind to everyone, and Marshtomp doesn't give a hoot about romance.

One day, as I sat in a corner nibbling on some Pokémon food, I heard an alarm sound. Bracha, the Dustox General, flew into the room. "ALERT! ALERT!" she shrieked. "GIANT ENEMY SPOTTED! LEVEL 51!"

A few Pokémon stared out the window. I looked out, too, becoming less shy since no one was focused on me. It was a horrifying sight. Some kind of giant, sloth-like monster was rampaging the beach outside. As it stomped across the sand, it stopped, reached into the water, and grabbed a Magikarp. The monster ate it in one bite.

Marshtomp ran into the room. "According to my Pokédex, that thing's called a Slaking." he told us. "It doesn't attack often, but it's still very dangerous."

"What do we do?" I asked.

Before Marshtomp could say anything, Eustathios hopped in front of him. "Maybe if you bravely slay the giant beast, Mawly will fall in love with you, Houdini!" he laughed. Everyone cackled at his "joke". I should've kept my mouth shut.

"Settle down, everyone. I know what to do." Marshtomp said. "We have to call in the forces of Unova."

A few Pokémon muttered to each other; "Unova?" "Isn't that place really far away?" "I've never seen a Unovian Pokémon before."

Suddenly, the sky became cloudy and dark as a thunderstorm quickly began. "You might want to stay back, like, 50 feet away from this," Marshtomp said.

Three Pokémon emerged from the clouds. They were almost identical. Each one was pitch black, with electricity radiating from their massive claws. One had some smooth golden armor, another had bright blue eyes. The last one wielded a large, purple hammer. They all landed on the ground with a thud that shook the earth. They were much larger than the Slaking, and they looked much stronger than it, too.

"You ready?" the armored one said. He had a very deep voice.

"Definitely!" replied the one with the hammer.

The armored Pokémon created an electric ball out of thin air. He threw the ball at his twins. The blue-eyed one caught it and shoved it into the ground. The last Pokémon raised his hammer above his head. "COVER!" he yelled. Marshtomp surrounded us with a muddy forcefield. I heard a very loud slam, followed by an explosion.

Marshtomp removed the forcefield. The three Pokémon and the Slaking were nowhere to be seen. All we could see was a massive crater where the beach used to be.

"Don't worry! I'll fix it." said Marshtomp.

And that's how I realized how awkward life was, but that's not how I met our Mawile. I'll get to that later.

 **In case you're wondering, the three Pokémon were Zekrom. I have three of them, all at level 100. I have a Kyurem, too. It's just not as powerful, so I barely use it. That scene was based off of the three Zekrom I have.**


	6. Penguins and Punishments

**I took a small break. Writing one chapter a day is tiring. I also posted this around 11 PM... It still counts as a one day break!**

"Those three Pokémon were all Zekrom. Zekrom are very powerful dragons that harness the power of electricity. Their strength is immense, so if you ever come across a hostile one, be careful. The reason why they are pitch black is because..."

Marshtomp was babbling on and on to us about the Zekrom. We ignored everything he said and resumed eating lunch. I sat in the corner, where I always hang out.

"Hey, you!"

I looked up to see a small penguin; about a foot tall. It had a star on its head. It was floating right in my face.

"What in heck are you?" I asked the penguin.

"Well, who are you? Why are you in the corner, all alone. Are you sick?" it replied. Why would it ask a question like that?!

"I'm not sick," I grumbled. "But I'm _getting_ sick of all these rumors of me crushing on a Pokémon."

"So you're telling me... that people get sick from rumors? I better start one!" the penguin squealed

Oh no.

The penguin flew around the room, making up stories and yelling them at Pokémon. "Hey! Did you know... that the Zubat over there's addicted to rocking chairs?! Did you? Did you?" "Dude, you may not know it, but that Wingull you're talking to has a great-great-grandfather that's still alive! Isn't that crazy?!"

And all chaos broke loose. Some Pokémon swatted at the penguin, trying to get it away from them, while others believed the rumors and started whispering to each other. Zubat and Wingull blushed and covered their faces.

"WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?!"

Everyone stopped talking. Bracha and Eldritch stood at the doorway of the cafeteria. Eldritch had a very stern look, while Bracha was worried. "Explain. Everything. Now." Eldritch said.

Everyone burst out in speech. They all babbled about a penguin floating around and yelling out fake stories. But the penguin was nowhere in sight. "I am very disappointed in you all." Eldritch said. "We will assign an extra two hours of training to replace your free time. A real Pokémon never makes up excuses."

Everyone groaned. I didn't understand. First teasing, now punishment. And this all started with a Great Ball...

That's how I (and everyone else) got a punishment for almost no reason, but that's not how I met our Mawile. I'll get to that later.

 **Yep, that was Madz the Penguin. I'm scared that I got her personality wrong (and I don't think she can float, either), but I was allowed to use my friend's OC, so there's that.**

 **I'll take a one-day break every five chapters. When I reach fifteen chapters, I'll do an "Intermission", where I write a new, different fanfiction. This season's intermission will be my PachirisuXRoselia Snugglefic.**


	7. NO CROSSOVERS!

**Chapter 7 is up! I've been working on a competitive Pokémon team. So far, I have Aerodactyl, Roserade, and Forretress, so I can do single battles with them. They won't make an appearance in my fanfiction, though.**

"WAKE UP!"

I opened my eyes. The same penguin I saw yesterday was right in my face again. I screamed and jumped back, my head hitting the wall. "You again! Do you realize the trouble you caused yesterday?" I said.

"I caused trouble? Aw crud, I'm very very sorry!" the penguin said. "I'll make it up later. Whoops, I forgot to introduce myself! I'm Madz the Penguin!"

"Madz?! What are you doing here? Aren't you supposed to be in the Mushroom Kingdom and not Hoenn?" I replied.

"I came here to tell you something important! You WILL fall in love with Mawly!" Madz said. I was shocked. How did she know what was happening, and why would she predict the future like that? Was she joking?

"Are you sure that will happen?" I said worriedly. "You can't predict the future."

"I can't predict the future, but I am sure it will happen!" the small penguin answered. "Because Merlee-"

I quickly teleported away before she finished her sentence. I didn't want this fanfiction to become a Pokémon/Mario crossover. This whole story has nothing to do with Mario games, anyway...

I didn't bother choosing where to teleport; I was just trying to escape from Madz. I wound up in a plaza. At the center of it was a huge, white tower. I think I was in the Kalos Region! It was very pretty, yet crowded. There were houses, people, Pokémon, trees, Bob-Ombs, bushes-wait. BOB-OMBS!? I thought this wasn't a crossover!

Suddenly, a hedgehog ran over to me and started punching me. Oh no, I was in Super Smash Brothers! I quickly teleported away again.

This time, I chose where to teleport. I appeared in the cafeteria, where everyone eats lunch. No Madz, no other franchises, just a cafeteria. I was safe, and so was this story.

It was a gloomy morning. Everyone was tired from the extra two hours of training we had. Marshtomp, Eldritch, and Bracha were running around the room, telling everyone about the gym we would fight soon. I, of course, wouldn't participate in the battles due to my non-hostile, cowardly moveset. I would get to watch other Pokémon fight, though. I wanted to learn from others...

Hearing that the gym battles would happen soon is like hearing that you'll get seats for the Super Bowl! It just felt so important.

I wondered when I would see that penguin again.

That's how the fourth wall was destroyed, but that's not how I met our Mawile. I'll get to that later.

 **Man, this story will be very hard to write. I'm starting to run out of creativity. Oh well! Maybe my Unova Pokémon and the Spectra clan will make an appearance. Foreshadowing?**


	8. Humans

**I started watching Sword Art Online. I really love it, and it would be fun to make a Pokémon/SAO crossover. I have a Lucario named Kirito, anyway.**

Marshtomp stood in front of the Dewford Gym, everyone else by his side. The gym was large, with a flat, yellow roof and an automatic door. "We're about to enter. I trust you, Bracha, and Lafoon, our Beautifly, to defeat this gym!" Marshtomp said with determination. "Now enter!"

Bracha and Lafoon flew toward the automatic door and crashed into it.

"Whoops! I forgot to tell you that the door only opens when you touch the mat." Marshtomp said. He stepped on the mat, opening the door for them.

"Thanks. I needed that," Bracha said annoyedly.

"Wait. Annoyedly is a word?!" said Lafoon.

"Yes, the author looked it up before he wrote it," replied Bracha.

"JUST STOP BREAKING THE FOURTH WALL AND GET IN THERE!" Marshtomp yelled.

Bracha and Lafoon flew in. We all waited for a few minutes before a loudspeaker on the top of the gym was turned on.

"ATTENTION, EVERYONE IN DEWFORD TOWN!" the speaker roared. "WE HAVE A NEW GROUP OF CHALLENGERS READY TO BATTLE THE GYM LEADERS OF DEWFORD: MACHOP AND MAKUHITA! COME INTO THE GYM IF YOU WANT TO WATCH THE TRIALS OUR CHALLENGERS WILL FACE."

We all bolted into the gym, but got ran over by a hoard of people right afterward. It seems that every gym leader match is very important and exciting. I realized why as we ran into the stadium to grab a seat.

All sorts of training equipment and obstacle were scattered around. There was a large array of cones form a path through the whole area. A large, circular plateau was positioned in the center. The announcer and the gym leaders were standing on the pedestal. It was a funny sight, since the announcer was human while the actual fighters are Pokémon less than half his size.

Marshtomp called us over to an area. We got one of the best seats in the stadium, slightly raised up to see most of the track and a great view of the plateau.

~squash~

All of a sudden, I couldn't see anything, and I felt unbearable pain. I heard Eldritch ask someone to get up, and my vision went back to normal. Apparently, an obese human sat on me without noticing. "Sorry about that," he said without even looking at me.

I've always found humans to be very dumb when it comes to noticing Pokémon. I've heard of many incidents involving Joltiks passing away due to humans stepping on them. For all I know, the creator of this whole universe has been enslaved thanks to humans. And Pokéballs. And Pokémon that have gone crazier than Marshtomp himself.

That's why I don't like humans, but that's not how I met our Mawile. I'll get to that later.

 **Yes, my Pokémon/SAO crossover would be a great idea! Kirito from SAO could meet Kirito the Lucario, and then SAO Kirito would get trapped in the Pokémon world, where the only way to escape would be to beat Steven! YES, YES, YES!**


	9. The Dewford Gym Challenge

**Time for some action! This chapter will probably be pretty exciting, so look forward to that.**

Bracha and Lafoon stood at the starting line of the giant course. They would be running through many obstacles on their way to the plateau in the center. There, they would battle Machop and Makuhita, the gym leaders of Dewford Town.

The announcer rushed over to the challengers and began talking to them. Bracha was determined, but Lafoon appeared to be scared. After a few minutes, the announcer ran back to the plateau and grabbed his microphone (he didn't use it when talking to the challengers). "ARE YOU READY!?" he screamed. It was loud enough to crack the gym's windows.

We all roared with excitement. "ALRIGHTY THEN!" the announcer replied. "READY..."

Bracha and Lafoon knelt down, their wings horizontally positioned for a boost of speed.

"STEADY..."

I began sweating. Marshtomp was eating his popcorn faster than usual.

"GO!"

Bracha bolted forward, her wings flapping faster then I've ever seen. Lafoon was right behind her, flying at the same speed. They went toward their first obstacle: A bunch of poles. Bracha made a 45 degree spin to fit through the small openings. Lafoon did the same, but her aiming was off, and she crashed right into the first pole.

We gasped as she fell down, but made a quick recovery and flew right through the poles. Zubat cheered and I breathed a sigh of relief.

The second obstacle was a few sets of spikes. You'd think that'd be easy for the two challengers to avoid, but there were also Electrikes on the sides of the track using Thunderbolt, making the area tougher to get through, especially for flying types. Bracha realized this just as she took a direct hit to the face, falling down into the spikes. Lafoon quickly grabbed her and carried her out of the zone. The whole audience roared as this happened.

They passed a few more areas with ease and made it to the final obstacle before the gym battle: wrecking balls. Bracha dodged all of them, but Lafoon got hit by the second one and was launched out of the field.

Marshtomp spit his soda, and a few other Pokémon freaked out. "Aw, heck no!" Marshtomp screamed.

Bracha made it to the plateau and looked back toward Lafoon. The poor Beautifly was lying in the corner, tears in her eyes. Bracha frowned and turned toward the gym leaders, ready to battle.

"AND THE DUSTOX MAKES IT TO THE FINAL BATTLE, BUT OUR OTHER CHALLENGER HAS NO ENERGY LEFT!" the announcer yelled. "CAN BRACHA DEFEAT THE GYM LEADERS ALONE?!"

Eldritch was breathing quickly. Eustathios was grinding himself on his seat. I was sweating even more. I wanted Bracha to win because I was getting tired of living in Dewford and constantly going into a battle before being switched out.

Machop ran over to Bracha, getting ready to throw a massive punch, but suddenly tripped. "Oh come on!" Makuhita yelled. "This is a gym battle! You can't mess up like that!"

Machop rose up, but got tackled immediately by Bracha. Makuhita used Focus Energy before slapping her repeatedly. She resisted every hit and used Confusion, knocking Makuhita off the battle area. Machop stood up as Bracha held on to his back. He tried to hit Bracha, but she jumped off, causing Machop to hit himself and faint.

"AMAZING! OUR CHALLENGER DEFEATS BOTH OF HER OPPONENTS AND WINS THE CHALLENGE. SHE WILL RECIEVE A GYM BADGE FOR HER EFFORT!" the announcer shrieked. The crowd went crazy. Marshtomp was shaking Eldritch, screaming that we won. I clapped as Bracha was awarded her badge.

Lafoon recovered and, when seeing the results, flew over to Bracha and hugged her. It was a happy moment...

Until a Kyogre attacked Dewford.

 **Yay, cliffhangers! That Kyogre is from the Spectra clan, a threat worse than Team Magma.**

 **This was a longer chapters than usual, mainly because of all the action. I also decided not to include our running gag here, mainly because it didn't feel right to put it there.**


	10. Kyogre the thief

**It's the 10th chapter anniversary!... See? No one cares.**

It was horrifying. A Kyogre crashed into the gym, flooding everything with water. Everyone in the building got soaked.

The Kyogre swam toward Bracha and Lafoon. It grabbed the gym badge with its massive mouth and started swimming away. "HEY, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" screamed Bracha.

Marshtomp threw his popcorn and soda at the legendary Pokémon. It didn't seem to care. Marshtomp then jumped on Kyogre and started using Mud Slap on it. Another fail. The Kyogre launched Marshtomp off like a Tauros in a rodeo. He fell into a trash can near the plateau. "Dang it!" he yelled.

The Kyogre successfully got away with the badge. Lafoon began to cry and Bracha asked for a replacement. "Sorry, that's the last one we had." Makuhita said.

Marshtomp scurried out of the trash can and threw a tantrum. Qillaq the Shroomish began to absorb all the water while Eustathios picked up all the broken bits of the gym. I felt a little frustrated, just like everyone else.

"This is a disaster!" Eldritch shouted. "We can't sail to Slateport without two valid gym badges."

Qillaq looked at Eldritch. "Why can't we just track down the Kyogre and get it back?" he asked.

"I bet you that thing would be 20,000 leagues under the sea by now," Marshtomp complained.

"Or 20,000 Krabby Patties!" Qillaq added. Marshtomp Mud Slapped him.

"If we were to search for that Kyogre, we will need a powerful water type. The strongest one we've got," Marshtomp said. Everyone stared at him. "Ok then... wish me luck!

That evening, Marshtomp said goodbye (forever, possibly) before diving into the ocean to look for Kyogre.

We all stared into the ocean afterward. I saw my reflection... and a small floating penguin behind it.

I turned around and screamed. It was Madz the Penguin, but this time she was holding a piece of paper. "Remember how I said I'd make it up to you? Well, this is how!" she said, handing me the paper. "Just fill out the pamphlet and you're good to go!"

She floated away, leaving me alone to read the pamphlet:

 _Smogon University: The one and only college for Pokémon_

 _This pamphlet, when filled out, will accept you to Smogon once you have reached at least level 20. There, you will learn the strategy of your species, how to battle properly, and even battle in simulations. You will learn how to EV train, IV breed, and even hold a leftover apple just to heal slightly every few seconds. Many Pokémon (even a Pachirisu) have succeeded greatly in their battle career by studying here, and you will too. Probably._

 _Signature:__

 _Species:__

 _Gender:__

 _Owner/leader's Signature:__

 _ID:__

 _Favorite food:__

 _Crush/girlfriend (not required):__

 _When all this is filled out, you're good to go (once you're level 20)._

That's how I was accepted to Smogon University, but that's not how I met our Mawile. I'll get to that later.

 **in case you're wondering, Smogon University is a useful website for Pokémon strategies. In the story, Smogon's literally a university for Pokémon. Oh well, time for my break (I take a one-day break every five chapters).**


	11. My life as a level 13 Abra

**I was doin' stuff, and now I'm back. Uh oh, I'm late...**

As I walked in the cafeteria, everyone was chatting about my invitation to Smogon University. If they weren't talking about that, then they'd be worrying about Marshtomp instead. What if he didn't make it back? What if the Kyogre defeated him in battle? What if the badge went missing? So many things could go wrong!

Looking up more information on a computer, I learned a few things. Apparently, my final form is very strong. It could use a move called Focus Blast, which sounds powerful. However, I was up all night wondering what the term "Special Sweeper" meant. Did it mean I'd get a job as a janitor when I graduate?

A week passed with no Marshtomp. Bracha became worried. If she trained hard to overcome a large challenge, what's the point if she loses something instead? Most of us sat around and played video games, though.

Triple Animal showed me a game called "Splatoon", and it was hard to get used to the fact that NO Pokémon appear in the game at all. Just human kids... who can turn into creatures called "squids". Despite the logic, the game was actually very fun. It reminded me of Tentacools, which reminded me of the ocean, which reminded me of Marshtomp. Dang it! Even I can't keep my mind off him!

I was thinking of what would happen if Marshtomp died fighting Kyogre. Maybe Eldritch would take the role of main leader... Maybe we'd all split up, searching for a new trainer... or maybe everyone would go bonkers. The possibilities are endless!

Madz the Penguin also appeared a few more times. She tried Splatoon (and beat me in EVERY SINGLE GAME), babbled on about Smogon University, and even showed me her Pokémon friends. I have no idea why that Snorlax would always curse to me whenever I saw it...

She has her Pokémon breed a lot. Apparently she wants good "IVs", and if the hatched Pokémon acts any way she doesn't want it to, she'll trade it away. When the penguin isn't breeding and stuff, she either:

A: Hangs out at the hospital in Toad Town, looking at sick people.

B: Goes to some strange, altered town where Pokémon don't exist and the currency is bells (she calls the place "Animal Crossing")

or C: Texts some weird kid named Darkwrath or something.

Either way, Madz the Penguin has bonded with me and my friends. Though she's not a Pokémon, at least she looks like she could be one. Unless she is...

Dun dun DUUUUUUUN!

 **I got Splatoon today, so I decided to have Houdini play it in my story. See ya tomorrow, and sorry this is late!**


	12. Romance time!

**My favorite weapon in Splatoon so far is the paint roller. It cover a lot of ground and one-hit KOs very easily.**

Another week passed without Marshtomp. Bracha and Eldritch became really scared. They liked him, and they didn't have the potential to be the one in charge of EVERYTHING.

I laid on my bed, thinking about what was going on. Everyone, including me, was worried. Triple Animal ran into my room. "Houdini! Get up! Marshtomp's back!" he yelled, nipping at my foot.

"WHAT?!" I said excitedly. I teleported out of the room and into the main hall. Pokémon everywhere were surrounding Marshtomp, who was holding the gym badge. Bracha was hugging him, crying. "I forgot you tell you that I'm crushing on you." she said to him.

Marshtomp blushed. "Well, I guess some snuggling could be arranged tonight," he replied. Bracha giggled.

We celebrated with cake, Poképuffs, and Splatoon. Madz the Penguin joined in on the fun, beating everyone at Splatoon and hogging all the Poképuffs. It was a happy day, and the party went on for five hours. By then, it was only me, Madz, and a Zubat. We all fell asleep on the ground.

I woke up to a loud SNAP. It appeared to be 2 o'clock in the morning, and everyone else was asleep. Was I hearing things, or was everyone but me a heavy sleeper? I decided to try and find the source of the sound.

I walked down the long hallway, where everyone's rooms where lined up like a hotel or apartment building. I heard the snap again, coming from one of the doors. The hallway was very dark, so I couldn't tell who's room it was. I tried to open the door, but it was locked. I knocked on the door. No answer, so I teleported inside and flipped the light switch.

"KYAAAAAAAAAAA!"

I noticed a surprisingly awkward (yet slightly cute) sight on the bed. Marshtomp was hugging Bracha, his arms around around her waist. They were both staring at me with a shocked look on their faces. I presumed they were snuggling with each other in the bed.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" hissed Bracha.

"Well, what are you doing?" I asked back.

"Just get out!" yelled Marshtomp.

I teleported out of the room. I heard the lights flickering off, and then they were talking quietly, saying things like "Daaaw" and "You're so cute." Yep, they were probably snuggling.

I teleported to my room and got a good night's rest.

The next morning, I noticed some strange things happening. Bracha was smiling much more than she usually does, and Marshtomp had a much happier tone in his voice than normal. They were sitting next to each other, eating a large bowl of spaghetti. Marshtomp bit one end of a noodle; Bracha bit the other. They slurped it up at the same time... Aw crud.

That's what happened when Marshtomp came back, but that's not how I met our Mawile. I'll get to that later.

 **Marshtomp and Bracha sure do make a cute couple, I'll give you that.**


	13. Titanic in a Seedotshell

**Somewhat late author is somewhat late.**

"We're going on a cruise ship!"

That's what Marshtomp announced that morning, exciting everyone around him. This would be our transportation method to Slateport City.

"Maybe I can finally confess my feelings for Eustathios on the trip," said Lafoon. "He's so dashing!"

Eustathios looked at her.

"Whoops! I can't believe I said that out loud," Lafoon added.

All the Pokémon (and Madz) were ecstatic about the news. This great event wouldn't have happened if Marshtomp failed to retrieve the gym badge.

After a few days, the cruise ship arrived at Dewford. It was massive, larger than a Wailord. It was pure white with plenty of windows and a swimming pool. Even though he didn't have eyes, Zubat fainted at the sight of it.

"Now, be careful when walking on the plank toward the ship. You may fall... Oh who cares, it's a cruise ship!" Marshtomp yelled. He ran on the plank to the ship, but slipped and fell.

"What irony," said Ironhide. Everything he says has relation to rocks, metal, and other hard material.

After all of us boarded the ship, it set sail. Triple Animal immediately began to feel seasick.

"Yay, sickie episode!" screamed Madz.

"Oh, shut up," the Zigzagoon replied.

Marshtomp stood at the front of the ship, his arms spread out horizontally. Bracha was holding on to him with her tiny feet. "I'M THE KING OF THE WORLD!" Marshtomp yelled, wanting to reference Titanic.

"No, you're not," Eldritch said as he pushed him off the ship. Eldritch loves bothering Marshtomp, especially when he's having a great time.

Bracha shrieked as Marshtomp fell into the ocean. He was able to swim back up to catch his breath. Marshtomp actually looked pretty handsome when he was soaking wet (Bracha was squealing with joy). Eldritch pouted, realizing he only made the moment better.

I saw Lafoon talking to Eustathios. The Geodude made an approving gesture, causing Lafoon to become excited. I guessed another couple has emerged, and I was sure of it when an event similar to last chapter's occurred...

I had no idea where my room was; there were twice as many suites in this cruise ship than the Pokémon that went on it. I took a guess and opened a random door, only to be greeted by a half awkward, half adorable sight.

Lafoon was cuddling with Eustathios. They appeared very comfy, despite the fact that one of them was a rock. The Geodude's arms were wrapped around Lafoon. Even though his arms were rough and hard, Lafoon was enjoying it. At least until she noticed I was in the room.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!" Lafoon wailed.

I quickly teleported out of the room and looked for an empty suite.

That's how we traveled to Slateport, but that's not how I met our Mawile. I'll get to that later...

 **Yay, more snuggling! I love writing about snuggling, even if it's a butterfly and a rock.**


	14. King Tsunami strikes back

**I'm always late...**

CRACK!

I woke up. Water was flooding my suite. I panicked and teleported out of the cruise ship.

Bracha, Lafoon, Zubat, and all the other Pokémon that can float were watching in horror as the ship sunk. But how did it sink is the question. The answer emerged from the water.

A Kyogre (possibly the same one that stole our gym badge) was swimming around the cruise ship, looking for any survivors. Eldritch jumped on it and bit it with Fire Fang, but he was quickly jerked off. Ironhide and Marshtomp tried to fend it off with Mud Slap, but it was no use. None of their moves were very effective, and the Kyogre shrugged it off with Aqua Ring.

Then , he leapt upward and ate Marshtomp and Ironhide. Everyone gasped, but none of them panicked as much as Bracha. She began bawling over the loss of her new boyfriend.

Suddenly, the Kyogre shook. He wiggled his large jaw before spitting out his two victims. Unlike Marshtomp, Ironhide began to sink like a brick. Marshtomp dove underwater to catch him and help him up. The Kyogre turned toward them.

"Aw crud." he said. "This isn't the last you've heard of King Tsunami!"

The Kyogre disappeared into the sea. Marshtomp and Ironhide were frightened, holding onto each other like Shaggy and Scooby-Doo. Suddenly, they were standing on a large red island that rose from the water. But it wasn't an island. It was a Magikarp.

"HELLO," it bellowed. "I BE DIVEBOMB THE MAGIKARP. I HELP YOU NOT DROWN."

"What the heck," Marshtomp said, placing Ironhide on the ground.

Bracha flew down and glomped Marshtomp, covering him with kisses. One by one, the other Pokémon (and Madz) made it on the Magikarp. Even Eldritch made it, but he was soaking wet.

The giant Magikarp had the surprising ability to swim while sideways. He carried us all to Slateport's beach. Triple Animal began kissing the sand when they arrived. We were all safe, but something told me this Kyogre was more than a threat.

Lafoon bought us all sodas when we made it to the soda shack. I personally prefer Moomoo Milk because I hate soda and Moomoo Milk is healthier. While Triple Animal was drinking his soda, a Carvanha bit his foot, causing him to drop his soda. I gave him mine so he wouldn't be disappointed.

There were some incenses to get at Slateport, including some weird one that makes opponents' attacks miss. Marshtomp bought a Sea Incense for himself, while Bracha got the Odd Incense.

Divebomb, the Magikarp who saved us earlier, joined our team. Eustathios also helped his friend, Lavrentios the Tentacool, sign up and become one of us. Our team was able to grow a bit because of this.

That's how we made it to Slateport, but that's not how I met our Mawile. I'll get to that later.

 **I recently bought an Aurora Blast theme deck to start a career as a Pokémon card game player. It's surprisingly powerful, with Victini and two Articunos!**


	15. Triple Animal is a Cutie?

**Chapter 15! After this, I'm taking a break from this fanfic to work on a new story. If you've seen my profile, you'll know what is.**

"She's so pretty!"

That's what Triple Animal said, causing us all to look in his direction. He was staring at Ali the Altaria, who was some kind of celebrity. Random Taillow and Wingull were swooning over her.

"Wow, you're right," I told him. "How many Pokémon are crushing on her?"

"Thousands," he replied. "And I... might be one of them."

Lavrentios and Divebomb ooohed. Marshtomp let out a chuckle.

Ali suddenly flew toward us. She looked at us one by one, each gaze lasting a few seconds. After that, she grabbed Triple Animal by his paws and carried him into a large building. Bracha and Eldritch shrieked, but Marshtomp watched with a smirk on his face. Triple Animal looked back at us and smiled excitedly.

"Don't worry. She isn't kidnapping. Ali just thinks he has potential for a contest," Marshtomp said as Ali entered the building with Triple Animal.

A few moments later, they came out again. Ali was smiling as she looked at Triple Animal, who was wearing a dress and some makeup. Everyone tried not to laugh.

"Don't ask," Triple Animal said.

A Pikachu walked out of the building. It was wearing a wrestler's outfit.

"Hi there! I'm Sumochu. I'm actually a girl!" It said to us. "I just signed up Triple Animal for a cuteness contest. Do you think he'll do well?"

A few Pokémon scratched their heads. Triple Animal did look cute, but not with that look on his face. If he just sat there in the contest, grumpily throwing flowers everywhere, he would probably get last place. There had to be some way to increase how cute he can act without caring how he looks.

Sumochu muttered something to Ali, causing her to run back into the building. She came back with some tiny pink cubes. She shoved them into Triple Animal's mouth before dragging him into the building. Sumochu told us to go into the building if we wanted to watch a contest. Only Eldritch and I entered.

"This contest is probably gonna be a piece of crud," Eldritch mumbled as we took our seats.

The stage was pink, with four Pokémon and the host, a Snubbull, standing on it. The four Pokémon were a Gulpin, a Zubat, a Skitty, and Triple Animal.

"WELCOME TO THE CUTENESS CONTEST! I'M YOUR HOST, GRAMMERS!" said the Snubbull. She had a very high voice.

"IN THIS CONTEST, OUR FOUR CONTESTANTS WILL PARTICIPATE IN TWO ROUNDS. THE FIRST ONE IS BASED OFF HOW CUTE YOU LOOK AND ACT. THE SECOND ONE IS BASED OFF HOW ADORABLY YOU USE YOUR MOVES."

This is a weird contest.

That's what a cuteness contest is, but that's not how I met our Mawile. I'll get to that later...

 **We are halfway through the first season of How I Met Our Mawile! Thank you for reading this far, and I hope you enjoy my upcoming story: The PachirisuXRoselia Snugglefic! This fanfiction will be on hold for a bit while I write that story. Stay tuned!**


	16. Zigzagoon-Chan

**Surprise! I forgot to write this on Sunday, so here I am now. Welcome back!**

"LET THE FIRST ROUND OF THE CUTENESS CONTEST BEGIN!" Grammers yelled.

The Gulpin started off the first round by making bubbles out of his liquid poison. The Zubat proceeded to pop them, sabotaging the act. None of us were watching that; everyone was focused on Triple Animal.

"Hi, senpais!" he said to us, acting unnervingly cute. "Does anyone wanna be my girlfriend?"

His opponents were staring at him, shocked that he was actually doing quite well. He winked repeatedly and sang the Sword Art Online theme song. Eldritch mumbled something about crossovers as this happened.

"ALRIGHT! ROUND ONE IS DONE! TIME FOR ROUND TWO. START USING MOVES, BUT TAKE TURNS!" Grammers screamed after one hour of Triple Animal acting like an anime character.

Gulpin began by using Toxic. No one liked it, sadly. Zubat didn't do too well, either; its biting wasn't enough to please the audience. Skitty was about to use Attract, but Triple Animal headbutted her off the stage and used Growl. To be honest, it sounded more like a purr, and the audience squealed.

Gulpin and Zubat teamed up, using screech and supersonic in unison. It sounded like a cat being run over by a steamroller. Skitty tried to get back on the stage, but Triple Animal whipped her off with his tail. He then (coincidentally) used Tail Whip, earning another squeal from the audience.

Eldritch and I sat for three more cycles of this torture before the results were announced:

4th Place: Gulpin

3rd Place: Skitty

2nd Place: Zubat

1st Place: Triple Animal

Triple Animal was running out of the room, yelling "I won!" repeatedly. When Eldritch and I made it out, he was curled up in a ball, sobbing. I looked up at the front of the building to notice a video of his performance at the contest. But why was he crying now?

"The Pokeblocks!" Eldritch said as he ran toward the poor Zigzagoon.

And that's why Pokeblocks can be bad for your reputation, but that's not how I met our Mawile. I'll get to that later...

 **A somewhat short chapter. I was in a hurry, so pardon my mistakes (if I made any).**


	17. Harry joined the game

**If you've been experiencing any delays in my schedule, that's because I've been out in the world of Super Mario Maker. I've been creating my own levels (and repeatedly failing at them). I wish I could share the codes to some for any of you who have the game, but my Mii's name is my real name. I have no idea if sharing my real name through a code is allowed or not...**

After a few days, Marshtomp decided to hold a meeting in the soda shack on the beach. The place was packed due to the army of Pokémon working for him. There was barely anywhere to sit; even the cupboard on the top shelf was occupied by some kid with glasses and a scar on his forehead.

"I've called everyone here today to announce how we'll be training for the next few weeks," Marshtomp said.

A few Pokémon groaned. More training means our usual schedule has returned.

"We will have Lavrentios, our octopus Pokémon friend, train all the way back at Route 104. Everyone else will do their training at the beach. But don't slack off unless you're using slack off."

Dafna the Slakoth laughed.

"Also, our new base is right here, at the soda shack. No, that does not mean free soda every day. You might like that boy in the cupboard though. I heard that readers of this story are figuring out the reference already..."

I swear I could sense a Charizard yelling at me in the future. No, I'm sure it was nothing.

"Where will everyone sleep? There aren't enough cupboards to fit us all, you know," Eldritch interrupted.

"Ah, yes. There's a trapdoor under the pillow seat to your left."

Eldritch lifted up the pillow, opened the trapdoor, and snuck inside. A few Pokémon followed him. After a few seconds, Eldritch climbed back out.

"Holy crud, it's amazing!" he said in shock.

All of us except Marshtomp scrambled down the square opening. It sure was amazing, as Eldritch said. Under the soda shack was a giant, sandy cave. Everything was sandy and rough and... square? Everything in the cave was more pixelated than how all of us used to look. The beds were red rectangles with small brown posts, the tables were practically cubes about the size of a Pikachu, and there were NO CHAIRS AT ALL.

It wasn't like Dewford, where we had our own suites. The whole area was just spread out, but it was still impossible to have any privacy. And it won't work if you say "Don't look over here!" to everyone, because then they'll probably look at you.

Overall, Eldritch might've been being sarcastic.

And that's where my team hung out when we were in Slateport, but that's not how I met our Mawile. I'll get to that later...

 **... Not to mention I created a battle against Bowser, who had three bill blasters on his head-oh, the chapter's over.**

 **I will keep writing, but not very frequently. I promise...**


	18. Bedrock, literally

**It has been a long wait, a long journey, but we will carry on... with our story!**

 **That rhyme, though.**

I didn't get any sleep that night. In a pixelated cave, you'd probably think the beds were still comfy, but no. It was like sleeping on a piece of obsidian!

I could barely train due to my drowsiness. If a wild Pokémon used Yawn on me, I'd instantly fall asleep. And this would not be the sleep you wake up quickly from. Triple Animal would tell me they'd bring me back to bed and let me rest for the day if I fell asleep (which would happen often), but that didn't help me at all because the beds are like steel! Thanks to this, I was having a hard knock life.

(Sorry. I just had to...)

I remember a specific day when I was having lunch with Mawly. Marshtomp told me I fell asleep when I looked at her...

I looked up on the internet for why this happened, and I saw an answer saying that it's easier to fall asleep when you think about or see cute things. Then I realized: Am I crushing on Mawly without even knowing it?

The thought hit my above-average brain like an anvil from above. Then another thought hit me: I used five words starting with the letter A in that last sentence! The two thoughts were grinding against each other inside my head, making it harder to sleep. I just wanted to have everything stop hitting me at once and focus on one problem at a time.

The first issue I decided to resolve was the beds.

That was my life in Slateport, but that's not how I met our Mawile. I'll get to that later...

 **Sorry for the short chapter. I realized that I wasn't writing any fanfiction, so I decided to continue the story... at 10:00 PM. Then again, I often post chapters late at night. Anyway, writers keep their promises.**


	19. But That's Just a Theory

**...**

"Wake up!"

I was lying on my bed. Triple Animal was jumping up and down on me like a Spoink, and it was hurting a lot. But this time there was something different. The bed felt... like a bed. Not a rock.

"HOUDINI! YOU WERE ASLEEP FOR A MONTH! YOU MISSED HALLOWEEN! I DRESSED UP AS HULK HOGAN!" Triple Animal yelled. I couldn't tell if he was mad or excited.

"Sorry... the author took a nice, long break from writing, so I was asleep. You and everyone else still went on with your life, didn't you?" I replied.

"Wait, when the author's on break, you go on some weird hibernation? No wonder you slept so much when we got here..."

"THAT'S BECUASE THE BED IS MADE OF FREAKING ROCKS!"

"No, it's a normal bed."

"YEAH! HOW DID THAT HAPPEN?!"

"I think the author realized how little he has been writing this story compared to when he first began. The horrible bed must've been him marking his break points, before making it better. This could be a sign that he'll get back to a simple writing schedule!"

Triple Animal had a point. This whole world could just be a total wreckage of the fourth wall. Then I remembered...

"Wait," I said. "I saw the author in my dreams. He was some kind of... dark ghoul. Like a reaper who takes old people away. He said he was sorry, and then I woke up."

Triple Animal tilted his head to the right.

"Well, that's definitely going to sprout some theories," he said before walking away.

I saw a dark figure out of the corner of my eye. When I turned, it was gone.

And that's why the author hasn't written for awhile, but that's not how I met our Mawile. I'll get to that later.

 **You heard him. I haven't written in forever. I'm a wumpy wumpus woo.**

 **A wumpy wumpus woo that never forgets a promise...**


	20. 20 Chapter Special!

**I'm still easing my way back into the process. Just please be patient.**

Pieces of paper were hung all around the cave. The Fanfiction logo was on a banner taped on the door.

"I forgot to mention: It's the twentieth-chapter anniversary!" Triple Animal said to me as we walked around the cave. "And with the arrival of Christmas, we also have something else in store."

As we went out of the soda shack, I saw a ten-foot tall Christmas tree. It was very impressive, and there was only one ornament on it: A ball of mud. Triple Animal told me Marshtomp placed it there and that we all would place a unique ornament before Christmas.

"So, what are you going to place on the tree?" the Zigzagoon then asked.

"I don't know... I'll go find a berry or something," I replied as I walked away.

I floated over to the small farm we had just outside the soda shack. Luckily, the Pecha berries just sprouted. I grabbed one and went back to the tree, but before I made it there, something hit me from above and made me drop the berry. Then, Qillaq ran over, picked up the berry, and hung it on the tree.

"HA! Now you need to find something else to hang!" he said as he ran off.

Who would do a thing like that?! I thought of a way to get him back for that, and I came up with the perfect idea.

I teleported in front of Qillaq and grabbed him. As he squirmed, I teleported us both to the Christmas tree, where I hung him there.

"Hey! Get me off! Someone help!" he yelled in fright.

"Well, you hung my decoration, so I'll hang yours. In this case, it's your body!" I told him. He began cursing as I floated away.

Later that day, I noticed a few more "ornaments" on the tree. Triple Animal hung a John Cena action figure, Eldritch hung a shark's tooth, and Madz hung a Box of Tylenol. You could easily tell that most of what everyone hang shows something about themselves.

We had a huge party during the evening to celebrate twenty chapters of our fanfiction. We played Splatoon, Mario Maker, Super Smash Bros, and even Geometry Dash (no one could beat the first level). We had cake, Doritos, Mountain Dew, candy, and lots of berries. There was a piñata in the shape of Kyogre, and it was filled with more Doritos and Mountain Dew. There was even a Snoop Dogg concert, but everyone hated it because he swore too much.

That's what happened when this fanfiction hit twenty chapters, but that's not how I met our Mawile. We'll get to that later.

 **We have reached the twentieth chapter of the series! Thank you guys so much for the support! I won't stop writing, even if I lag so much. School is hard, and I forget to write.**

 **Anyway, I would like to thank Madz the Penguin, AtomicOverlord, and betabookwyrm for following and favoriting. Mr. Bramstoker and Psykotic101 were also there, but they stopped reading, though I will thank them too! I hope this series becomes more popular later on, and I also will try to write more frequently. But for now, bye!**


	21. Wizards and keyboards

**-The following is written by Dr. Toadley.**

 **I'm gone for a while, and everyone's like, "I'm about to lose my mind, you've been gone for so long, I'm running out of time, I need Dr. Toadley!"**

 **I'm here, ok? I'm trying to get Darkwrath32 off of this game called Trigonometry Run or something, but right now I'll write the chapter...**

When I finally woke up, it was dark. Very dark. Everyone was gone, and I was all alone. I got out of bed and climbed out of the cave.

I checked the cupboard and, just as I thought, the boy was still there.

"Do you know where everyone went?" I asked him.

"They all left. They're heading through Route 111 to get to Mauville City," he replied.

"Thanks," I said and teleported away.

After a huge argument, I continued traveling with Marshto-htdnfyukr

 **Sorry about that. It's me, Darkwrath32, and I just told Starlow to smash Dr. Toadley's head on his keyboard. I didn't give him ANY permission to go on my account and write the next chapter...**

 **I want to continue the story, but it's 11:34 PM, and I'm really annoyed, so I'll just cut this chapter short, edit my profile page, and call it a day. But a new chapter will come out tomorrow. Stay tuned!**


	22. Route 11: PokéCompton

**And then Darkwrath, because of his stupidity and love for Geometry Dash, didn't post a chapter the next day. Why am I so dumb?**

 **Oh well. Better continue the story where Dr. Toadley left off...**

"Hey, you!"

I heard a voice calling us as we travelled to Mauville City, and I ignored it. That was a bad idea.

A Plusle tackled Marshtomp while a Minun pinned down Eldritch. The Plusle was wearing a pitch-black baseball cap while the Minun had shades. They both, to be honest, looked very cool.

"You ain't from around deez parts, are ya!" The Plusle yelled. He sounded like Flo Rida. "If you crossin' deez streets, we'd have to beat yo butt!"

"Yeah!" said the Minun. He sounded like IheartMemphis.

"Well, we're just heading to Mauville City," Marshtomp replied. "We're not willing to-"

The Plusle smacked him and cursed. "Well, that mean we gotta beat yo butt! Let's go!"

"Are they really gonna try to beat up a ground type? I mean, seriously?" Triple Animal muttered.

The Plusle lunged forward and hit Marshtomp with an electric punch, but it had no effect. Marshtomp used Mud Slap, and Plusle was launched far away.

"Oh crud. Um... uh..." The Minun wimpered. He let go of Eldritch, who got up and growled at him.

"I better take care of you, too," Marshtomp said as he walked toward Minun. But just as he was about to hit him with a muddy fist and send him flying, Eldritch stopped him. He whispered something into Marshtomp's ear, and Marshtomp stepped back.

"Well, I guess IheartMemphis over here should join our team. It's the right thing to do, after all," Marshtomp said to us.

"My name's Fresh Bone, in case you're wondering..." The Minun grumbled loudly.

We continued our journey to Mauville with Fresh Bone.

"So, why did you let Fresh Bone join us?" I asked Marshtomp.

Marshtomp thought a little, and then replied.

"Eldritch wanted a new member, and if I didn't have the Minun join, he would fire my girlfriend."

That's how a Minun joined our team, but that's not how I met our Mawile. I'll get to that later...

 **Now that I think about it, why is sharing your real name bad on the internet? I mean, sharing your location is dangerous, but why your name?**


	23. Mauville City: You'll get lost!

**Darkwrath32 posts so infrequently. Why?**

We arrived at Mauville City, the heart of Hoenn. It didn't look at all like a city; it looked like a building. The outer walls reflected sunlight right into Marshtomp's eyes. He squinted as he led us inside.

The inside of Mauville was as great as the outside. Countless, lustrous, square tiles covered the floor. There were shops, tutors, and other "buildings" around every corner. I was lost in awe!

I was also lost. I was seperated from my group and had no clue where I was in the city. I entered the nearby building to ask for directions to the Pokémon center. The first building my group enters is always a Pokémon center, so I'd easily find them from there.

The building I walked into appeared to be a cafeteria. Pokémon were fighting for their seat and food, which was strange. Why would a cafeteria allow that? I went up to the cashier and was greeted with a pleasant sight.

The cashier was a Gardevoir, and I immediately noticed how attractive she was. I thought of the Ralts that worked with us, knowing she'd grow up to become such a beautiful creature. I blushed a little as I talked to the pretty cashier.

"Um, where's the nearest Pokémon center?" I asked nervously.

"Here's a map," she replied in a sweet voice. If I were an emoticon at the moment, I would be a colon followed by capital D! She was really nice, giving me a map instead of simply explaining directions. I took one last look at her as I left the cafeteria.

Following the map, I made my way to the Pokémon center. Everyone was waiting for me, and after a long scolding, we prepared to find a home to stay the night. I couldn't stop thinking about that Gardevoir.

And that's why I wonder why my girlfriend's a Mawile, but that's not HOW I met our Mawile. I'll get to that later...

 **But why, Dark? Why?!**


	24. That moment when your friend knows

**Well, I finally drew a cover for this story. Do you like it?**

 **"Darkwrath32, just write the story. I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR 2 YEARS NOW."**

 **Ok, fine. Jebus Crisp...**

Eustathios dug us a large cave outside of Mauville, where we would live for the next few days. He did a very good job, too! The cave was like the one in the Soda Shack, but with decent beds and privacy (thank gosh). I was sitting in my new room with Triple Animal.

"You have a weird look on your face," the Zigzagoon said. "Almost as if you're in love..."

I felt my ears turn bright red. "Don't do this to me, Zigzagoon..."

"No, really. What happened when you got seperated from us? What did you see? Or... who did you see?"

"Um... well... I went to a cafeteria..."

"Yes?"

"And there was a Gardevoir..."

"Yes?"

"And she was pretty, nice, and pretty nice overall."

"Ooooooh!"

"I had this small part in my brain that wanted to embrace her and snuggle her. I don't really understand."

"Silly Houdini! That's called crushing on someone!"

"I KNEW THAT, YOU STUPID FERRET!" I yelled.

A little while later, the whole group gathered together for dinner. Triple Animal sat as far away from me as possible. He was still mad at me.

"I have an idea for how we will train tomorrow," Marshtomp said. "It costs money, so we'll only do it once. We will train at the... drumroll please?"

Eldritch just sat there.

"DRUMROLL OR I WILL FIRE YOU, ELDRITCH," Marshtomp yelled.

Eldritch slammed his paws on the table repeatedly, pretending to drumroll.

"...The Mauville Food Court!"

I thought about the cafeteria, when something occured to me.

And that's why I was happy about training for once, but that's not how I met our Mawile. I'll get to that later.

 **I checked out Marriland's Undertale gameplay series (Madz was talking about it on facetime and stuff), and this was my reaction:**

 **"So that's what he looks like... that's what he looks like?!"**

 **No offense, Marriland.**


	25. Rattatatouille

**Do any of you guys out there play Geometry Dash? Answer through a review or something, please.**

We arrived at the food court at 8am. Most of us were really tired, but Marshtomp looked like he used 5-Hour Energy (not a sponsor). It was more crowded during this time of day; the line to place your order was very long. We had to wait 20 minutes to get our food.

When we finally made it to the cashier, I noticed it was the same Gardevoir from last time. Marshtomp interrupted my admiration of her and said the last thing I wanted him to say at this point in time.

"Why don't you place the order for us?"

Inside I was panicking more than a mom who accidentally took her children to an R-rated movie. Why me, and why her?! I was able to talk to her before, but now that everyone's here, I became scared. Trying to face my fears, I floated up to the pretty cashier.

"Oh, hello!" She said with a smile.

I couldn't take it. I immediately teleported away when she spoke. I was in Paris, far from where I had to be, but that was good. I wanted to escape this crud.

The time in Paris is 12 hours past the time in Hoenn, so it was 8:22 PM (but Darkwrath32 is typing this at midnight!). I soared across the night sky, looking at all the city lights and landmarks. I circled around the Eiffel Tower before flying through the streets. I found some leftover Rattatatouille and took it when no one was no looking. Eating the food I snatched, I then wondered: What the heck does this have to do with the plot?

When I finished my meal, I teleported back to Hoenn, but not in the food court. I appeared in my room. I knew Marshtomp would yell at me and punish me for this, but I didn't care. I would cross that bridge when I came to it.

Suddenly, there was a knock on my door.

"Come in," I said, sitting on my mattress.

It was Divebomb. "I ditched training too. I'm bored," he groaned as he flopped in.

"Do you wanna play Splatoon?"

"Sure."

So we played for a little while, and then Marshtomp and co. came back.

That's why I had to push a large, heavy boulder over a hill without teleporting that night, but that's not how I met our Mawile. I'll get to that later...

 **Darkwrath can't do things fast. He has Pokemon cards to play.**


	26. Game Logic and Scaredy-Bugs

**So...**

After a month of training, we were finally ready to challenge the Mauville Gym. I never understood why Marshtomp trains everyone when only a few Pokemon end up actually challenging the gym, so one day I asked him why he does this.

"I believe in equality," he replied. "Also, in later situations, I don't want to worry about training you or someone else for a few months so they can take on a simple challenge our other fellows can't handle because of type disadvantage."

When we entered the gym, there was no straight path to the stadium. Instead, we were in a dimly lit, gray room. Posts were aligned evenly around the room, and some were constantly transmitting visible electricity to a post adjacent from them, creating a barrier. There were also a few switches and Pokemon here and there.

"Don't worry, guys. Me and Quassi will handle this. We're both ground types," Eustathios said pompously.

Quassi shivered. "I don't wanna..."

Eustathios, aware of his immunity to electricity, tried to move through the electric barrier, but he smashed right into it as if it were a wall.

"The heck?" he cursed softly.

No matter what he did, he couldn't find an opening through the "solid" barrier. It was like horrible game logic.

Quassi moved to a different area of the room and found a Meditite. It used Thunder Punch, but Quassi wasn't hurt by it at all. However, she still ran away in fear before tripping over one of the switches on the ground, activating it. Suddenly, the barrier Eustathios was trying to get through dissipated, and Eustathios lurched forward from inertia through pushing it.

"I don't want to be here! Why did you choose me, Eustathios!" Quassi said as the Meditite ran toward her with a glowing fist.

"Because you're a ground type, and ground types don't get affected by Thunder Punch and other electric type moves," Eustathios replied.

"You're right, but non-effective moves still tickle, and I don't like that!"

"Oh, grow up, Quassi."

"Why me, anyway? Marshtomp's a ground type, too."

"She's right," said Marshtomp, who stepped forward. "I'm pretty darn strong, too."

He tackled the Meditite who was about to "hit" Quassi and knocked it out with a swift Mud Slap for demonstration. Quassi ran back to the rest of the group.

"He makes a good point," she said. "You should have Marshtomp by your side instead of me."

"Fine," Eustathios grunted before challenging an Electrike.

And that's why it took us a lot longer than we thought to progress through the Mauville Gym, but that's not how I met our Mawile. We'll get to that later...

 **I should get a vine account.**


	27. The Pedestal

**I told Platrium (my** **newest friend) that I would post this chapter on May 7th. I posted it in the middle of the night. I'll call that a success.**

After a bit of walking and a few puzzles, we ended up in a small room containing a pedestal, which held a Dynamo badge. Words were engraved on the pedestal:

 _Take it. You've earned it._

Marshtomp had heard that the Mauville gym was rather strange, but not in this way...

Eustathios excitedly rushed towards the gym badge, but Quassi told him not to, saying it might be a trap. The Geodude ignored her and nabbed the badge.

Sure enough, it was a trap.

The pedestal sunk into the ground as the walls around the room began to slowly close in. A small door in the ceiling opened to send out two Magnemites. A Voltorb appeared in the spot where the pedestal was.

"You thought it would be that easy, huh?" it said. "You've earned the gym badge, but now you must earn the glory of beating this gym! ATTACK!"

There was a flash of golden light. Loud electric shocks echoed through our ears as the whole room shook. When the light dimmed and the sounds faded, Eustathios and Quassi were visible. They didn't seem to have been hurt at all, but they were very, very dizzy. Eustathios fell over and rolled away while Quassi took a few steps toward me before her legs gave out. The walls were still closing in.

Marshtomp ran towards the Voltorb and KOed it with Mud Slap. He tried to do the same with one of the Magnemites, but it endured the attack because it was Sturdy.

"Wait, why is Sturdy capitalized?" asked Triple Animal.

"It's capitalized because it's an ability, and the author decided to weave it into that sentence. Clever, huh?" I replied.

"Yeah, kinda."

The Magnemite that Marshtomp attacked was at 1 HP, but it was still fighting fit. It tackled Marshtomp and knocked him back against the wall. Marshtomp returned the favor with Water Pulse. It wasn't very effective, but it defeated his opponent anyway. Eustathios mustered the strength to get up, and he tried to punch the other Magnemite. However, he missed because he was still a little light-headed. The Magnemite he tried to attack just stood there, but then it began to glow.

Was it... evolving?!

And that's why I like cliffhangers, but that's not how I met our Mawile. I'll get to that later...

 **We're almost at the end! I'm so excited to write the Pokemon parody of Big Brother. Are you excited to read it?**


	28. The Magneton

**Time to see the thingy that's happening with the Magnemite. *never forgets promise***

The Magnemite was evolving, sure enough. Marshtomp tried to attack it during the transformation, but he was blown back by the energy. After a few seconds, its one body became three.

"It's a Magneton!" Triple Animal exclaimed.

The Magneton immediately shot 6 beams of electricity out of its magnets, all aimed for Marshtomp. After a flash of yellow, he still stood there, unharmed. He tried to attack it, but it then launched a few steel bombs out of its eyes to counter him. These actually hurt him a little and knocked him back again.

"Nice move, but that won't be enough," Marshtomp said before hitting it with Mud Slap.

The Magneton was able to withstand the move, even though Mud Slap was 4x effective against it. It then used Supersonic, causing Marshtomp to become a little dizzy. He tried to finish his enemy off, but hit himself instead and fainted.

Everyone except for the Magneton gasped. Quassi, who recovered from the "barrage of attacks," cowered in fear as the enemy inched closer. Just as it was about to use the steel bomb attack (Triple Animal told me it was called "Magnet Bomb"), Ironhide headbutted it from the right. The Magneton resisted it and hit him back pretty hard with Volt Switch. Ironhide tried to run away, but was instead pulled toward the Magneton because of its Magnet Pull. He was then defeated quickly.

At that moment, Mawly had a plan. She ran toward the fainted Marshtomp and... put him in the giant mouth on her head?!

"Hey, metal thingy!" She said with a Lenny face. "Look over here..."

The Magneton looked toward her, and at that moment, Marshtomp was spat out of Mawly's maw, hurtling toward the enemy and landing a direct hit.

"EVERYONE, RUN!"

We all ran, flew, and bounced out of the gym just as it exploded. Everyone was doing fine, and the gym badge was still intact and with us, but Marshtomp...

...didn't make it out alive.

And that's how Marshtomp died, but that's not how I met our Mawile. I'll get to that later...

 **I don't think this death means the Fanfiction must be rated T. The movie "Big Hero 6" had a death very similar to this one, and it's rated PG.**


	29. Evolution and Eldritch

**Summer is here. Now what?**

After Marshtomp's death, Eldritch became the main leader of the group. He was a bit more chill than Marshtomp, but he could also be intimidating at times. Bracha was bawling like crazy.

I only remember the day after that casualty. I got up, ate breakfast, and then suddenly evolved for some random reason. I don't remember anything beyond that point up until I became an Alakazam, and I learned why a few days later. Apparently, when you're a Kadabra, you're too dumb to remember anything because the rest of your brain power is used for telekinesis and stuff like that. Being an Alakazam, I then had enough brain power to bend a spoon with my mind and remember doing that. It may seem complicated, but that's science.

I learned that I had only been in my previous evolution state for a few days. To evolve into an Alakazam, you must be traded for another Pokémon, and that happened with Madz. She gave me back to Eldritch because it wouldn't affect my current state (and Madz didn't need me). At that point I was level 17 or something, which meant I still wasn't ready for Smogon University.

One day, I was training. Actually training. It was my first time battling a wild Pokémon. I struggled because I wasn't used to using my psychic powers to hurt others, but I eventually beat the Marill I was fighting.

A month later, Eldritch walked up to me after a nice dinner.

"Houdini, I can't take it anymore," he said firmly with a bit of stress.

"What do you mean?" I replied (I didn't say it the way Bieber does, you... you person).

"All this work, trying to run a group of who knows how many Pokémon, it gives me a crank in the neck!"

"Ok, but why are you telling specifically me this?"

"Houdini, I want you to take my place."

I was shocked. I wasn't very experienced with battle at the time, especially compared to Eldritch, the second member of the team ever caught. Why would he want me to lead the team, then?

"I know, I know, it's a weird favor to ask, but I believe you have potential. More potential than me, even," Eldritch added as I stood there in shock.

"Why would you make such an assumption?" I asked.

"Have you seen the movie "The Good Dinosaur?""

"Oh my gosh, I cry everytime," Lafoon said, poking her head out of her dormitory.

"I WASN'T TALKING TO YOU!" Eldritch yelled at the poor Beautifly.

"Ok, jeez..." mumbled Lafoon as she went away.

"But yeah, that movie explained how even the most pathetic dinosaurs have potential. I think you resemble Arlo almost too much," Eldritch continued.

"No I don't," I replied annoyedly.

"Yes you do."

"No I don't."

"Yes you do."

"Let's not have this conversation," I said, before teleporting somewhere else.

I had slightly different plans...

 **I got a Twitch account. Kappa Kippa Keepo KappaClaus KappaPride KappaRoss KappaWealth**


	30. Realizations

**I'm** **not dead, you plebs.**

After a long month of battling wild Pokémon, I was finally level 20 and ready for Smogon! Madz hosted a small party in her dorm to celebrate the accomplishment.

Besides me, she only invited Triple Animal, Marriland (who was a Marill at the time) and Mawly. Upon learning this, Marriland thought it was strange that Madz didn't let Eldritch into the party, but apparently the penguin knew what she was doing.

"I know what I'm doing!" said Madz for the fifth time.

Amidst all the laughing and yelling, Mawly sat in the corner of the room eating a bag of Lays (not sponsored). I decided to sit next to her, since she seemed a bit down. Five seconds passed before she burst into tears.

"Unlike Madz at the moment, I didn't know what I was doing! I wasn't thinking ahead!" she sobbed.

"Is this about Marshtomp?" I said. Mawly slowly nodded.

"It's my fault he died! I didn't think before I spat," she continued. "Marshtomp was an amazing leader. We still have Eldritch, but it's just not the same..."

"Personally, I feel that Eldritch does a better job of leading the group. He may seem scary, but he isn't so bad when you get to know him," I replied. "Also, he isn't completely bonkers."

"But don't you think Marshtomp's... bonkersness... was memorable? It put a smile on my face sometimes."

"Now that you say it..."

I began to remember when Marshtomp first caught me, when he covered us in a shield of mud, when he fell into the ocean, and many other good times. It was at that moment I realized he wasn't as bad as I thought he was. A tear formed and trickled down my right eye.

"Hold me," Mawly said after a minute of silent crying.

"What?" I replied.

"This isn't anything romantic. Just hold me. I feel... scared."

"Um... ok."

Mawly leaned her head on my side. I put my arm around her shoulder. We sat there and watched Triple Animal struggle trying to beat Madz's sadistic Mario Maker level called "Peepow".

Later that night, I decided to fill out the Smogon pamphlet. After getting a signature from Eldritch, I had filled out everything but the last question.

 _Smogon University: The one and only college for Pokémon_

 _This pamphlet, when filled out, will accept you to Smogon once you have reached at least level 20. There, you will learn the strategy of your species, how to battle properly, and even battle in simulations. You will learn how to EV train, IV breed, and even hold a leftover apple just to heal slightly every few seconds. Many Pokémon (even a Pachirisu) have succeeded greatly in their battle career by studying here, and you will too. Probably._

 _Signature: Houdini_

 _Species: Alakazam_

 _Gender: Male_

 _Owner/leader's Signature: Eldritch_

 _ID: (I forgot his ID. I stink)_

 _Favorite food: Rattatatouille_

 _Crush/girlfriend (not required):__

 _When all this is filled out, you're good to go (once you're level 20)._

I put the pamphlet under my bed and went to bed, but I couldn't fall asleep. I felt like I was forgetting something...

I reached under my bed and grabbed the pamphlet, filling out the last question.

 _Crush/girlfriend (not required): Mawly_

That's how I developed a crush on Mawly, but that's not how I met our Mawile. We'll get to that later...

 **And that is the end of HIMOM's first season! If you read the whole thing, thank you! I'm sorry for my frequent, long absences. It should be understandable.**

 **But for now, see you in the intermission!**


End file.
